The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
