Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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