Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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