I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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