It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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