i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
