Princesses don't give blow jobs
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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