I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
