could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
