i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
