porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
