I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
