I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
