just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
