So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Randomize
