Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
