Do vagina's smell?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
