it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
