My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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