1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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