We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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