I got her a Nickelback box set.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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