My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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