Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
so let's talk penis.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
