In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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