Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
