I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
