bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he was CRYING into my vagina
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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