Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
