Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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