doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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