Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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