i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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