I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
