it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
