you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize