i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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