i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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