I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
