Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Randomize
