Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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