Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
