remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
