i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
my penis made a compromise with my morals
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
