maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
