I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I have feelings that need drinking.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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