She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
