You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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