if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
