New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
