Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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