shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
