Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
