I think my fart just growled at me.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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