I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
