i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
