just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Alive.
So much puke
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
