I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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