So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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