Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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