She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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