So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
