We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
