I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
