Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
This house was built for laser tag.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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