brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
