The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize