Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
