I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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